5 Signs the Enemy is Attacking Your Blended Family and 3 Ways to Defeat Him
Scripture makes clear that we have an enemy, the devil. From the beginning account of his work in Genesis to the last references of him in Revelation, the Bible records his ongoing mission is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He hates God and hates anything God loves, including human beings and their families.
The Bible warns us to watch out for our enemy and to resist him, but we can only do that if we recognize his tactics. How do we become aware of his attacks on us and our blended family? How do we defeat him? Read on to find out.
The Enemy Hates the Things of God
Scripture refers to our enemy by several names: Satan, the devil, the enemy, Lucifer, the Accuser, and more. The Bible also calls him a roaring lion, “seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Jesus said he was a thief whose mission is “to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10). He wants to devour our marriages, demoralize our children, and destroy our lives.
Why is the enemy so bent on our destruction? Because family is sacred. He understands the impact of family on the state and structure of society as a whole. He knows a family unified and fortified by the blood of Christ is one of God’s most powerful weapons for advancing His Kingdom on earth. That’s one reason the devil will do anything to rip our families apart.
The enemy also knows that if he can demolish our families, he can own society’s future. Pastor Tony Evans writes:
Satan wants to destroy you as an individual, but he wants to destroy your family even more. If he can destroy your family, he can do more damage than simply destroying the present generation. By destroying your family, he increases the potential to destroy future generations .… The tragedy today is that many Christians think they are fighting flesh and blood in their marital and parenting issues, rather than realizing that Satan has an agenda to destroy their home. Whoever controls the family controls the future.[1]
The promise of Scripture, though, is that we can fight back. We can resist the enemy and he will flee (James 4:7). If he has already started chipping away at your blended family, you can take those pieces back. First, you have to recognize his attacks, and then you have to defend yourself and your family against them.
Signs of the Enemy’s Attacks
If a thief wants to burglarize a home or business, he does not knock on the door, announce his intentions, and ask for permission to ransack the property. He sneaks around in the dark to find an open window, hides in the shadows, and moves quietly to avoid detection. The same applies to the devil. He doesn’t warn you–he’s sneaky. He moves quietly and deceptively. But he often uses similar tricks, especially if they have been successful in the past. Below are several clues that your blended family (or you) might be under a spiritual attack.
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Unusual marital and family conflict.
Notice we said “unusual.” Every marriage and every blended family will deal with conflict. Kids will squabble and argue, whether or not they are in a blended family. Adults will misunderstand and miscommunicate. But if you sense the disunity, arguments, and conflicts tick up several notches or come out of nowhere, the lion may be on the prowl. -
Overwhelming discouragement and defeat.
Feeling discouraged as you try to build your marriage and blended family is normal. You will face your share of ups and downs–that’s a part of being in relationships with others. What sets this kind of attack apart is intensity and origin. If you suddenly sense deep discouragement, or if you feel profoundly hopeless, defeated, and/or powerless—and you cannot identify an event or situation as the cause—then then the enemy may be targeting you or your blended family. -
Crippling doubt.
Seeking God in your marriage and blended family is a lifelong journey that requires faith and trust. When you begin to question whether or not God is with you, whether He cares about your blended family, and whether His path is the best, you are probably under a spiritual attack. Beginning with Adam and Eve, one of the enemy’s tactics is to sow seeds of doubt in God’s goodness and love. And using doubt has been effective in derailing many believers, so pay attention to your doubts. Ask God about them and listen for Him to show you what is going on in your heart. -
Loss of spiritual desire.
Just like any relationship, your walk with God is not static. It can ebb and flow over time and season. However, if you find it difficult to pray, don’t want to stay connected to other believers, and don’t want to spend time in the Word, then you might be in a spiritual battle. The Word of God and prayer are tools we can use to battle against the enemy, so he will try to keep us away from those spiritual practices. The times when we don’t “feel like” getting in the Lord’s presence might be the most important critical time to press into Him more. -
Negative thoughts and feelings.
The enemy attacks our minds and emotions in vulnerable moments, such as when we have a conflict with our co-parent, or when we are tired, lonely, or hurt. He uses subtle deception and whispers of half-truths to chip away at our spiritual armor. For example, if you have young children and feel worn out, the enemy might use that vulnerable space to tell you that you’re not a good parent. He may use weak moments to pour on shame about past mistakes or fuel anxiety about your marriage. When thoughts creep in, ask yourself if they sound like Jesus. If not, you know it’s the enemy at work.
How to Fight Off the Enemy’s Attacks
Before we try to fight off the enemy’s attacks, we have to understand one thing: we cannot do anything in our own power. If we approach the enemy in our own strength, wisdom, or authority, we will lose. However, Scripture says, “he [Jesus] who is in you is greater than he [the enemy] who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). Jesus gave the disciples “the authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy” (Luke 10:19). We cannot battle the enemy in our own power, but in the power Christ has given us, we can guard ourselves and our blended families against attack and go on the offensive to claim God’s promises!
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Put on the armor of God.
Ephesians 6:13 instructs believers to “take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” Verses 14-18 describe each crucial piece of armor that protects us against devil’s schemes. When we walk in truth and faith, pursue righteousness, and obey the Word of God, we can stand firm against the enemy. We have created a free PDF to help you put on the armor of God. You can use this not only for yourself but also for your children and your blended family as a whole. -
Pray.
As believers, we are seated with Christ Jesus in the heavenly realm (Ephesians 2:6) as co-heirs with Him (Romans 8:17), which gives us spiritual authority to tear down the enemy’s strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). In Ephesians 6:17, Paul told believers to pray “at all times in the Spirit…” When we pray, we are exercising the spiritual authority given to us. Prayer activates every piece of the armor of God that protects us from the flaming arrows of the enemy. As believers, we can partner with heaven and declare victory over the enemy and his attacks against our marriage and blended family. We can say, “By the authority and power of Jesus Christ, I cast the enemy down and send him away from my family. I declare that greater is He who is in me than the ruler of this world. Guard my spouse, (bonus)children, and me from the enemy’s schemes, and shield my family from his influence. Allow us to walk by Your Spirit today.” -
Declare the truth.
When the devil tempted Jesus in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11, Luke 4:1-13), Jesus rebuked him using the Word of God. We can follow Jesus’ example by using Scripture to speak truth against the enemy. For instance, when Satan whispers, “You don’t matter,” you can declare, “I am a beloved child of God” (1 John 3:2). Knowing the truths in God’s Word gives us ammunition against the enemy. Listed below are a few truths you can recall when you sense the enemy attacking you and your blended family:- Unity: I trust God to bring me and my blended family unity in the Spirit through the bond of a peaceful relationship with each other. (Ephesians 4:3)
- Forgiveness: I choose to be kind and compassionate to others and I choose to forgive my ex-spouse (or another person) because Christ has already forgiven me. (Ephsians 4:32)
- Co-parenting: I trust that the Lord of peace himself will grant peace to my co-parenting relationship. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)
- Shame: Jesus has taken away my shame, and He has promised to present me before God as holy, blameless, and above reproach. (Colossians 1:22)
- Discouragement: I trust that God will be with me wherever I go, so I can be strong and courageous. I don’t have to be afraid or dismayed about what my blended family is facing because God is with us. (Joshua 1:9)
Since the Garden of Eden, the enemy has been turning people against each other. Marriages and blended families are a favorite target because a united marriage and blended family pose a significant threat to his power, influence and control. However, praying the armor of God every day over ourselves and our family, and by replacing the enemy’s lies with truth, we can take our stand against the enemy. Our blended families can become living testimonies of God’s mercy, grace, redemption, and restoration.
[1] Tony Evans, Victory in Spiritual Warfare: Field Guide for Battle (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House, 2011) 27.
Scott and Vanessa Martindale
Founders of Blended Kingdom Families
