Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.10, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Blended Kingdom Families Blended Kingdom Families for Step Family Resources ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [Blog](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/blog/) - [6 Dos and Don’ts for Entering Litigation with Wisdom and Peace](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/6-dos-and-donts-for-entering-litigation-with-wisdom-and-peace/) - 6 Dos and Don’ts for Entering Litigation! If you are a part of a blended family, there may come a time when you are forced to enter litigation. You might be the one receiving papers unexpectedly as we did. Or you may be the one pursuing litigation because of your co-parenting concerns. Either way, a - [How to Pray for Your Teens: 7 Prayers You Can Use Right Now](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-pray-for-your-teens-7-prayers-you-can-use-right-now/) - Praying for your teens: If you’ve been stumbling over what to pray or how to pray for your teen, try these written prayers for both teen boys and teen girls. - [Back to School With Blended Families: 5 Ways to Kick The Year Off Right](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/back-to-school-with-blended-families-5-ways-to-kick-the-school-year-off-right/) - Back to school season is right around the corner! Learn proactive strategies to help co-parents navigate new schedules, teachers, and after-school activities. - [7 Ways to Ease Sibling Rivalry in Blended Families](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/7-ways-to-ease-sibling-rivalry-in-blended-families/) - Dealing with sibling rivalry in blended families: 7 steps to minimize conflicts and encourage positive bonds between stepsiblings and biological siblings. - [3 Questions to Ask When Considering Litigation](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/3-questions-to-ask-when-considering-litigation/) - 3 Questions to Ask When Considering Litigation! Can we be honest with you right from the start? Talking about litigation means opening up about one of the toughest seasons of our life. In 2017, we went from co-parenting to court. And yeah, we expected litigation to be a legal battle—lawyer versus lawyer and ex versus - [What Does the Bible Say about Divorce and Remarriage? ](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-does-the-bible-say-about-divorce-and-remarriage/) - When it comes to the topic of divorce, there is no shortage of confusion, frustration, misunderstanding and judgment. Both believers and non-believers have learned explicitly and implicitly that divorce is a sin, and anyone who gets remarried is committing adultery. But what does the Bible actually say? Let’s find out together. The Assumption Some churches teach that - [Is Your Work Stealing from Your Marriage and Family? One Question That Changes Everything](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/is-your-work-stealing-from-your-marriage-and-family-one-question-that-changes-everything/) - In the whirlwind of daily life, it's easy for work and business to quietly consume the time and energy that should be reserved for the people who matter most. Before we know it, our marriage and family are getting whatever's left over instead of our best. The question isn't whether we love our spouse and - [What We Wish We Knew Before Blending: Essential Insights for Blended Families](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-we-wish-we-knew-before-blending-essential-insights-for-blended-families/) - Blended families face unique challenges that nuclear families don't encounter. The journey of combining two separate family histories, traditions, and relationships into one cohesive unit is both rewarding and complex. Many couples enter this journey with high hopes and expectations, only to discover that the reality requires more patience, grace, and wisdom than they initially - [How Alienating Your Co-Parent Could Harm Your Child](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-alienating-your-co-parent-could-harm-your-child/) - How Alienating Your Co-Parent Could Harm Your Child. Co-parenting can be a huge challenge, especially when one or more of the parents is engaged in child manipulation and parent alienation. It is one of the most common issues blended families and single parents face–but almost no one talks about it. The divorce decree may outline - [What Teens Say: 11 Do's and Don'ts of Effective Co-Parenting](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-teens-say-11-dos-and-donts-of-effective-co-parenting/) - As parents, we know separation and divorce affect our kids. We understand the significant impact on their well-being when we marry again. That is one reason co-parenting is a regular topic Blended Kingdom Families addresses. But what if we could hear directly from them? Through our initiative, Blended Kingdom Teens (BKT), we hear teens expressing - [Maximizing Summer Fun: 5 Essential Strategies for Blended Families ](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/maximizing-summer-fun-5-essential-strategies-for-blended-families/) - Summer can be challenging for blended families, but it can also be an opportunity for connection and growth. 5 tips for making the most out of your summer! - [Marriage That Reflects God: Part 1](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/marriage-that-reflects-god-part-1/) - Marriage That Reflects God Part 1! One of the first questions that Scott and I asked ourselves before we got married was this: What do we want our marriage to look like for us and for our children? Having been previously married and coming into my second marriage, I definitely had a thought of what - [How to Overcome Blended Family Dysfunction](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-overcome-blended-family-dysfunction/) - Dysfunctional blended family! Blending our families is an adventure. And any great adventure is equal parts fantastic and scary! When the honeymoon phase of remarriage and co-parenting wears off, you’re left wondering what to do with the sudden dysfunction. Or, maybe you skipped the honeymoon phase altogether and went straight to dysfunction; which has left - [What to Do When Your Adult Children Don’t Want You to Remarry](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-to-do-when-your-adult-children-dont-want-you-to-remarry/) - Even if your children are grown and out of the nest, they may still resist the idea of their parents to remarry. Here are some steps you might take - [Featured on XO Marriage: Navigating Relationships with Narcissistic Individuals in your Blended Family](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/navigating-relationships-with-narcissistic-individuals-in-your-blended-family-insights-and-strategies/) - Dealing with narcissistic individuals, whether in a marriage, blended family, co-parenting, or parenting, can be mentally, spiritually, and emotionally draining. You can often feel alone and rejected in narcissistic relationships, and you may wonder whose perspective of reality is the correct one. However, with valuable education and strategies to help navigate these complex relationships, you - [Featured on XO Marriage: Re-Marriage Fears](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/xo-featured-re-marriage-fears/) - I never anticipated hearing the words “I want a divorce,” only nine months after I had said my “I do’s” in my first marriage. Words have a powerful way of permeating your mind with a direct connection to your heart; our words and thoughts are the faucets where the mind and heart sync up. The sting of divorce is powerful yet never overrides the power and redemption of Jesus, and with Him, all things are possible, even in remarriage. - [Featured on XO Marriage: Beginning to Blend](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-beginning-to-blend/) - Blended families are unique–and no family is a copycat of another. Each one is made up of people with different backgrounds, personalities, struggles, past influences, and experiences. When blended, this group creates its own unique design and dynamic unlike any other. We receive many emails and messages on social media from people beginning to blend. - [Featured on XO Marriage: Traumas and Triggers](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-traumas-and-triggers/) - We have all experienced the hurt of physical pain at some point in our lives. Maybe we tripped on the playground and scraped our knees. Perhaps we suffered a burn when cooking on the stove. Most of us know the muscle pain of a hard workout at the gym. Just as we’ve experienced hurt or - [Featured on XO Marriage: Blending Your Bunch](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-blending-your-bunch/) - Many couples enter a blended marriage thinking the children will quickly adjust to all the new changes, but there may be so many. Your family’s situation may change rapidly, but for children, transition is seldom quick. That’s okay. You are in this marriage for the long haul, and you’ve plenty of time to make this - [Featured on XO Marriage: When Your Spouse Chooses Their Children Over Your Marriage](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-when-your-spouse-chooses-their-children-over-your-marriage/) - When people ask us to name one of the biggest problems that we see in blended families, we talk about misplaced priorities—when a husband or wife puts their children ahead of their spouse. It is one of the most common reasons for divorce in remarried couples. We’ve counseled many blended couples, and we have seen - [Featured on XO Marriage: My Stepchild Doesn’t Want Us Together](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-my-stepchild-doesnt-want-us-together/) - Relationships in blended families are often like that box of chocolates Tom Hanks references in the Oscar-winning film Forrest Gump: “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.” Suppose I could speak freely and honestly; blended family relationships, well…you never know what you’ll get. When Scott and I look - [Featured on XO Marriage: Traumas and Triggers in Remarriage](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-traumas-and-triggers-in-remarriage/) - If you’ve experienced the pain and tragedy of divorce or have watched a loved one endure that process, you understand how it hurts the people you love most. Divorce can come with emotional, mental, spiritual, and sometimes physical trauma. Depending on how we process that trauma, we can develop healthy or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The - [Featured on XO Marriage: How a Step-parent Can be a Positive Support to Your Stepchildren](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-how-a-step-parent-can-be-a-positive-support-to-your-stepchildren/) - Sure, I can be a stepdad; how hard can it be? If I only knew what I needed to know, my first question would be drastically different. Over ten years as a stepparent, I’ve experienced many seasons with my stepson. Some seasons, where he wanted me more involved and closer to the vest, so to - [Featured on XO Marriage: Navigating Intimacy in Remarriage](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-navigating-intimacy-in-remarriage/) - Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of any marriage, but it can be particularly challenging for couples in blended families. When either spouse has been intimate with a previous partner or has experienced sexual trauma, those issues can create walls between husband and wife. If you are remarried and experiencing hardship in your physical intimacy, you - [Featured on XO Marriage: My Spouse is a Narcissist…What Do I Do?](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/my-spouse-is-a-narcissistwhat-do-i-do/) - In my role as a therapist, I have worked with people who are dealing with various mental health issues, pain of unresolved and processed trauma, and dysfunctional relationships. As someone who specializes in marriage crises and issues, I’ve noticed an increasingly prevalent issue in marriage—narcissism. While society uses that label for anyone with a lack - [Overcoming Extended Family Opposition to Your Blended Family ](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/overcoming-extended-family-opposition-to-your-blended-family/) - Overcoming opposition from extended family when blending families. Learn how to navigate challenges and create unity in your blended family. - [Co-Parenting 101: Developing Great Communication with Your Ex-Spouse](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/co-parenting-101-developing-great-communication-with-your-ex-spouse/) - Developing Great Communication with Ex-Spouse Treat Your Ex With Respect · Keep the Communication Between Yourselves ·Plan your conversation - [How to Talk About an Ex-Spouse: 5 Tips for Constructive Conversation](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-talk-about-an-ex-spouse-5-tips-for-constructive-conversation/) - Even under the best of circumstances, bringing up an ex-spouse in conversation can set your spouse on edge, tinkering on the brink of defensiveness. - [5 Signs the Enemy is Attacking Your Blended Family and 3 Ways to Defeat Him](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/5-signs-the-enemy-is-attacking-your-blended-family-and-3-ways-to-defeat-him/) - Protect your blended family from the enemy's attacks. Learn how to identify his strategies and find biblical wisdom to overcome and thrive. - [5 Things New Stepparents Want Their Spouses to Know](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/5-things-new-stepparents-want-their-spouses-to-know/) - Insights from stepparents: 5 things they really want to tell you about the complexities of blending families but don't know how to say. - [Discipline in Blended Families: 5 Keys to Success](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/discipline-in-blended-families-5-keys-to-success/) - Struggling with discipline in your blended family? Learn five essential strategies to navigate the challenges of disciplining children in a blended family. - [Navigating Co-Parenting Challenges: Healthy Conversations with Your Spouse](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/navigating-co-parenting-challenges-healthy-conversations-with-your-spouse/) - Navigating the complexities of co-parenting can be challenging. When you become frustrated with the situation, it's important to communicate effectively with your spouse, but unfortunately, the conversation can leave both of you even more upset. How do you talk about co-parent issues without it turning into a gripe session? If you’ve found yourself in that - [4 Tips for a Stress-Free Holiday Season as a Blended Family](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/4-tips-for-a-stress-free-holiday-season-as-a-blended-family/) - The holiday season sparks joy and excitement for many families. But for blended families, the season can feel anything but picture-perfect. Between complicated schedules, balancing traditions, and tensions between biological parents, the holidays can present unique challenges. Having navigated blended family life for over ten years, we (Scott and Vanessa) have experienced firsthand the ups - [What to Do When Your Ex Demands Litigation](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-to-do-when-your-ex-demands-litigation/) - What to Do When Your Ex Demands Litigation! We will never forget the day when a simple knock on the door changed our lives forever. We’d been married just four years. And in that time, we learned first to be a family: Scott, Vanessa and Michael, Vanessa’s son from a previous marriage. Then we had - [5 Things Biological Parents and Stepparents Can Agree On ](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/5-things-biological-parents-and-stepparents-can-agree-on/) - Relationships are messy–even the healthiest ones. They take a lot of hard work. That’s especially true of the relationship between a biological parent and a stepparent. On the surface, there may be opposing agendas, mixed motives, and strong emotions. The result is often an adversarial relationship between biological parent and stepparent. But it doesn’t have - [How to Pray for Your Husband: 5 Prayers You Can Use Right Now](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-pray-for-your-husband-5-prayers-you-can-use-right-now/) - You love your husband deeply and want God to work in his life. You know the importance of praying for him. But you feel like a deer in the headlights: you don’t know how to pray for your husband. You don’t know the right words to say. You’re afraid your prayers won’t be “good enough.” - [How to Pray for Your Wife: 5 Prayers You Can Use Right Now](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-pray-for-your-wife-5-prayers-you-can-use-right-now/) - What is one powerful expression of love that a husband can show to his wife? The answer is not based on love languages, the checkbook balance, the newest fashion trend, or the latest research. One of the most beautiful gifts a husband can offer his wife is praying for her regularly. Keep reading for a - [Second Spouse, Second Marriage, Second Best?](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/second-spouse-second-marriage-second-best/) - Marrying someone who has been before is a lot like opening a novel in the middle and trying to read it. You don’t know the characters, the setting, the plot line, or the events that led to the mid-way point. And in some cases, you find out you’re the villain! Being a second spouse can - [Co-Parenting When You Have Different Religious Beliefs](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/co-parenting-when-you-have-different-religious-beliefs/) - Co-parenting can be a challenge under the best of circumstances. When your ex-spouse and you different on matters of faith, the tension and strain can supercharge your conflicts. One of the biggest questions we get from people is how to co-parent when your ex-spouse holds different beliefs than you do. If that’s your case, you’re - [What Your Child is Experiencing When You Remarry](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-your-child-is-experiencing-when-you-remarry/) - When you get married again, you will likely feel a variety of emotions–excitement, nervousness, anticipation, and perhaps even a little fear. Your kids will experience the effects of remarriage, too, and they also feel a slew of emotions. The difference is that as an adult, you have developed the skills and maturity to express and - [What Kids Want Their Divorced Parents to Know](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-kids-want-their-divorced-parents-to-know/) - Divorce is painful for everyone involved, including the children. Kids are resilient, but they are dealing with some heavy emotions, thoughts, and questions. Unfortunately, many children cannot or will not express how they feel about their parents’ divorce, even if asked. In our conversations and research, we've found similar themes in what kids might tell - [What False Promises Have You Made to Yourself? Part 2](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-false-promises-have-you-made-to-yourself-part-2/) - Our last blog focused on the false promises you make to yourself during or after divorce. These promises–sometimes called inner vows–are made when you experience deep pain. A false promise is a way to take control of the future so you avoid future pain. It’s a way to claim authority over your life that supplants - [How to Overcome Guilt Parenting in Blended Families](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/how-to-overcome-guilt-parenting-in-blended-families/) - Let’s face it–there’s no handbook for raising children, and parenting can be super challenging! That’s especially true when we go through a divorce, try to co-parent, or remarry and create a blended family. Emotions can run high–especially guilt. Before we know what happened, we realize we are parenting or co-parenting from a place of guilt - [What False Promises Have You Made to Yourself?](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/what-false-promises-have-you-made-to-yourself/) - The pain of divorce is real and raw and cuts you to the core. As a result, you probably made promises to yourself–sometimes called inner vows–so you won’t experience that kind of anguish ever again. That’s an understandable response, but those promises you make to yourself after a divorce can cause more harm than you - [Featured on Live Original: Becoming a Blended Family](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-live-original-becoming-a-blended-family/) - It’s been long said that expectation is the enemy of joy. That should be the mantra of your blended family, especially in the critical first year or two. Paint it on your walls, write it on a sticky note on your desk, needlepoint it on a throw pillow…do whatever you need to do to keep this saying - [Featured On XO Marriage: Holidays as a Blended Family](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-marriage-holidays-as-a-blended-family/) - We learned a thing or two from that season (and subsequent ones), and that experience has helped us navigate the holidays better. Scott & Vanessa Martindale The holiday season is such an exciting time for many of us as we gather with family and friends, sit at the table, share meals together, and reflect on - [Co-Parenting 101: Managing Finances as a Co-Parent](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/co-parenting-101-managing-finances-as-a-co-parent/) - Managing Finances as a Co-Parent Even under the best circumstances, talking about finances with an ex-spouse can be tough. But let’s face it — kids are expensive! So, good stewardship and regular communication in your blended family and with your ex are essential. Let’s get into it. Blending a Family Means Budgeting Well Child support - [Anxiety and Depression in Blended Families](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/anxiety-and-depression-in-blended-families/) - Blended families face unique challenges that bring out a wide variety of emotions in you and your children, especially when you are beginning to blend. Feeling anxiety over blending your family is common, not only for you but also for your children. That anxiety and sadness can linger and interfere with their daily lives. The - [Featured on XO Marriage: Why You Should Not Threaten Divorce](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/featured-on-xo-marriage-why-you-should-not-threaten-divorce/) - I’ve found that the firmness and steadfast nature of your commitment to your relationship, communicated directly to your spouse in a loving way, is a crucial ingredient to a long, fulfilling marriage.Scott Martindale Words have power. Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise - [God’s Redemption, Your New Marriage](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/gods-redemption-your-new-marriage/) - Many times, I’ve sat in my office across from the look of hope and fear. As a counselor, I love meeting with engaged couples. There’s something about new love, hope for the future, and that almost school-age giddiness. It’s the beginning of their new life! We talk about how becoming better communicators will help the - [Marriage Reflecting God: Part 2](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/marriage-reflecting-god-part-2/) - Our marriage can be used as an instrument to bring praises and worship to the Father’s name. In my last blog post, I talked about Marriage Reflecting God and the first few steps that we can take to glorify God in our marriage. We make Jesus as the firm foundation of our marriage, pray with - [A New Stepfamily Resource](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/a-new-stepfamily-resource/) - Over the years, step family resources ministry and biblically-based resources for stepfamilies have been few and far in between. The need is tremendous, and our society is growing in what now seems like the new traditional family, blended families. As a ministry, it is our mission to break the cycle of divorce, equip marriages, and - [Learning to Love Your Step Kids](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/learning-to-love-your-step-kids/) - Loving Your Step kids - How do I learn to love my step kids It may be the biggest taboo topic or question in any blended family: how do I learn to love my step-kids? This co-parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, is it? Blended family issues are real. And the questions ## Pages - [Home](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/) - While BKF is no longer producing new content, the website downloadable resources will be available through December 31st, 2026 Welcome! Meet Scott & Vanessa Martindale of Blended Kingdom Families Mission Statement Blended Kingdom Families exists to break the generational cycle of divorce, equip marriages and unite blended families with the truth of God’s Word. A Heartfelt Farewell from Scott & Vanessa Dear - [Terms and Conditions](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/terms-and-conditions/) - Terms and Conditions Welcome to the Blended Kingdom Families Ministries website and store (“Site”). These Terms of Use (“Terms”) sets forth the agreement between Blended Kingdom Families Ministries, its parent, subsidiaries and other affiliated companies (collectively, “BKF” or “we”) and each user (“you” or “user”) governing the use by you of this Site. Please read - [Our Story](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/our-story/) - Ministries and callings are birthed out of seasons of opposition and desperation…. we have been there and that’s why we are here. We found ourselves in one of the toughest faith challenges of our life and it was having gone through that season of trekking in the wilderness, that God began to minister to us - [Free Downloads](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/resources/) - Stepfamily Resources Stepfamily Resources Blended and Redeemed: The Go-To Field Guide for the Modern Stepfamily Blended families are becoming more common, but that does not make them any less complicated. Whether you are just starting out on your blending journey, or you have been at it for years, this book and its study guide will - [Privacy Policy](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/privacy-policy/) - Privacy Policy We take your privacy very seriously. Please read this privacy policy carefully as it contains important information on who we are, and how and why we collect, store, use, and share your personal information. 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A registered nurse for more than 8 years, she has a heart to serve those in their most vulnerable seasons of life. Birthed out of a desire to see God work in - [Scott & Lindsay](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/themify_popup/scott-lindsay/) - Scott & Lindsay Schmitz BKF Coaches Scott and Lindsay are a double-blended family with three teenage daughters. They have been working with couples and single parents in group settings and one-on-one for over two years. During this time, they have been able to use their experience in both their roles of bio- and bonus-parent to - [Don & Jen Benson](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/themify_popup/don-jen-benson/) - Don & Jen Benson BKF CoachesDon and Jen are a blended family with kids with children spanning nearly two decades in age - from 13 to 29. They are passionate about empowering other blended families to not just survive, but truly thrive. They believe that every family, regardless of its composition, has a divine purpose - [Scott Martindale](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/themify_popup/scott-martindale/) - Scott Martindale BKF Master CoachScott has 20-plus years of experience in blended family, marriage, and pre-marriage coaching. He earned his bachelor’s degree in Psychology at Abilene Christian University and his master’s degree in Counseling and Human Development from Hardin Simmons University. Scott is fueled by a desire to see individuals, marriages, and families live life - [Kenny and Heidi Drury](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/themify_popup/kenny-and-heidi-drury/) - Kenny and Heidi Drury BKF Master CoachesKenny and Heidi Drury are a blended family of 17 years with five children and seven grandchildren. They have been equipping couples one-on-one and in group settings for five years. In their own lives, they have overcome addictions, rejection and abandonment issues, anger, childhood wounds and trauma, and financial - [Warren and Jennifer Waters](https://blendedkingdomfamilies.com/themify_popup/warren-and-jennifer-waters/) - Warren and Jennifer Waters BKF Certified CoachesWarren is a coach with a heart for helping blended families thrive. With 25 years of experience as a financial advisor, Warren knows the importance of balancing practicalities with family dynamics. 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